The Golden Bachelorettestar Joan Vassos sat alone in her car on November 27, close to tears, mourning the death of her late husband on his birthday, and the fact thatshe was so lost in her memories may not bode well. During that phase,Joandid aTikTok, sharing that she received a"sign"from heaven. She believed thather late husband, John Vassos, wanted her to clean out her closet because she had"too many clothes.“Joan felt that he made a rack fall to communicate with her.
This stuff is poignant - she lost her husband to pancreatic cancer only four years ago, and the pain is still very close to the surface.
During Thanksgiving, she was grateful thather fiancé Chock Chappleand his kids came to her so they could all enjoy the holiday together. However, the past was casting a long shadow. Of course, on the birthday of the man she was married to for 32 years, he would be on her mind. She had to try to be emotionally present with her new partner,The Golden Bachelorette’s Chock Chapple, and his kids, but it clearly wasn’t easy.
She May Not Be Over It
Joan was traumatized by John’s cancer diagnosis.The cancer was so aggressive that the only treatment option was a very painful operation. Joan felt that there wasn’t much hope, and she was destined to lose her husband to the terrible disease. 32 years with someone is like a lifetime, and now, Joan’s trying again. Creating a blended family is never easy, and Joan’s feelings about her late husband may make it harder.As she spends time with Chock, her kids and his children,she’ll have flashbacks, remembering her old life.
Sometimes, she may feel a sense of disbelief, as she had a husband and kids, and then cruelly lost the man she loved. Making another family may lead to some emotional confusion - a sense of cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance happens when a person feels two:
conflicting things at once,
as perMedicalNewsToday.On the one hand, Joan is excited about finding aNew York City"love shack"with Chock, and exploring a long-distance relationship with him. On the other hand, she’s got 32 years of memories with another man. There may be times when she wonders if the direction she’s going in is right for her, particularly when she’s thinking about the past.
This kind of cognitive dissonance is so human. Who doesn’t question their choices sometimes? However, since Joan’s relationship is so public, she may find that it’s hard to find the space and peace she needs to work all of this out.
When she retreated to her car, she was finding time to think it all over. She needed a little privacy to just feel things on her own. The fact that she did her TikTok alone is a sign thatthere are some things she prefers to share as an individual, rather than as part of a duo. Hard experiences change people, and often strengthen them. It’s not much fun to build character through pain and trauma, but it can happen.
Now that Joan’s been through all of this on her own, she may be used to handling things solo. However,Chock’s quite a possessive person. He’s a clingy type. Can she live with all this closeness, or will it be too much for her? She clearly still loves the man she lost, so what will happen when she hits turbulence with Chock? That is inevitable. With the pressures of children in the mix, and a blended family, she might find that she doesn’t want this new relationship the way that she’s supposed to.
It’s easy to root for Joan. She’s remarkably sincere. In fact, the TikTok discussed earlier is extremely moving. As she prepares for a new life with Chock, where they’ll divide their time between Rockville, Maryland, NYC, and Wichita, Kansas, she needs to be strong.Her life’s under a microscope, but Joan has nothing to be ashamed of.She’s a good person who’s trying to be happy.
Is Being On A “Golden” Reality Series Really So Romantic?
Maybe It Isn’t A Dream Come True
“Golden” reality shows seem romantic enough at a glance, but the people who appear inThe Golden BachelorandThe Golden Bacheloretteare often very vulnerable. They’ve loved and lost. While others might give up, accepting their single status and figuring that they had their great loves already, and lost them, the show’s cast membersare willing to take leaps of faith. In front of the whole world, they will win or lose the game of love.
As Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist showed viewers, a romantic show experience doesn’t necessarily translate to “real life” happiness. Once the cameras are off, it can all be so different. Joan is excited about the future, but she needs to be realistic. There are going to be times when being a part of a blended family is very tough.
CanThe Golden Bachelorettehandle her next set of challenges? Definitely, but what really matters is what’s happening inside of her. Is she really doing what feels right? This is something that Joan will need to work out as she goes along.Her relationship will change as it progresses, and she may outgrow it.
The Golden Bacheloretteshouldn’t feel bad if she changes her mind. For her, doing the series was, in a sense, empowering. She was given many men to choose from. She had to use everything she learned about life and love to choose the best. She had to override her love for her ex in order to even envision a life with someone else. All of this was challenging, and sometimes she stumbled. She wasn’t quite sure if she was making the right decisions.
Still, she had the courage to try. She did pick someone. Joan seems happy, but a blended family is going to test her sometimes, and she needs to follow her heart, even if doing so eventually pulls her away from Chock. This is Joan’s time to really live - she’s been through so much already. She has a clear understanding of who she is as woman and what makes her happy.
Whether she’s in a relationship or not, Joan, who has overcome so many obstacles, deserves peace, laughter and love. Hopefully,The Golden Bachelorettewill always listen to her heart, her gut… her inner voice. If she does, it won’t steer her wrong, whether she needs to walk alone or not.
